My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
