it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
where am i from again
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
