There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
