it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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