Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
should my penis look like a turkey
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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