do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
