how can u be prego again
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
