like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
