Where is the hickey?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
