I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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