Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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