Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
