You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
