I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
