in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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