it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it glows. i had to have it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
