We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
