im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
