I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
