8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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