On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
