And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
