LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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