it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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