I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
