Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
