the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
