We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
