No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
