just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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