what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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