Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
