Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Moan for me like Helen Keller
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
