Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
