K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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