Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
false alarm, still single
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