And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
