Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
