Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
