you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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