my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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