My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
