I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
