Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
