Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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