i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
