He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
