worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
