I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
