so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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