Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
