Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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