ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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