Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
