Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
