i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
