oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
