NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize