I don't usually arrange sex via text message
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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